a message to my dad

within wanting to share my thoughts and feelings regularly, and the time restraints i find in writing it all down and typing it all up...  i thought i would share this email as it pretty well sums up how i'm feeling at the moment:

dad,

a combination of things has you on my mind today.  partly talking to and seeing a little glimpse of ashland, and thinking about all the people i love at home, so far way from me, living life... and me here, living mine.

that, and thinking about tu-tu's death and dealing with grief at a distance.  it reminds me of how much of grandpas life i have missed (and am missing), how much i want to hear his stories of the good old days, recited in his magical voice, and how i want to remember them all.  

i couldn't sleep the night before i got "the call" from mom, and i wrote in my journal about both my grandmas, about missing them and about how i remember them.  tu-tu smiling in hawaii with flowers in her hair and the way she had of clasping your hand like it was a full body hug.  and gigi laughing with her eyes all scrunched up and mouth wide open, supervising me picking up leaves in the pathway, or directing me to exactly what she wanted out of the loft.

it makes me think more about all the things i am missing now, and have missed being away from ashland and my family so much of these last few years.  and though it pains me to think of that loss, i do not regret it, and find myself valuing the experiences i have had even more for the rich price i have paid.

but one thing i have to say that i miss more than most, is a long slow conversation with you.

a visit with no deadlines.  a discussion with no direction, a debate with no sides, no argument.  a free flow of ideas.  you tell me about the things you have read, learned, experienced; i do the same.  we ask each other questions, we listen and learn, we expand.  it's not the typical father-daughter catch-up conversation that people might expect.  there's no talk of debt and expenses or really much about future plans.  

it's more than that.  a reconnecting of minds, of thought and ideas, and, for me, to home and place, and you.  i miss it all.

Carnaval: Que Bonito Está Mi Cádi

"Qué bonito! Qué bonito! Qué bonito está mi Cádi, qué bonito mi ciudad!  Qué rebosa de alegría cuando llega el Carnaval!!!!"

Mostly all I can say is "whoooooooo, what a ride."  Well, that and "thank God it's over."  For those of you that have never experienced a Carnaval in Cádiz, there's really no way of explaining it or describing what it's like.  It all starts with the Concurso Oficial de agrupaciones, and I was lucky enough to see not only a lot of it on t.v. but also the semi-finals live in el Gran Teatro Falla.  

Then the real party starts:  Saturday night EVERYONE wears a costume and takes the fiesta into the streets...  

(yes thats me on the right. and yes, I made those costumes)

Sunday and Monday the coros tour the city singing from street corners and you wouldn't believe how many places you can buy a liter of beer, and the HUGE parade rolls down the Avenida. 

Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday the agrupaciones sing in various plazas around the city, and the ilegales (unofficial chirigotas) take over el populo, and the botellón is alive and well en la viña (so was levante this year, but at least it didn't rain).

For those of you who experienced Cádi before the ban, this was like going back to the good old days!  Friday and Saturday again more of the same (with Chenoa in plaza san antonio), and Sunday is another day por las calles, burning the bruja on the beach and fireworks over the castle.

And so, I am full of cruzcampo and papas asadas, the streets are full of confetti... and it's back to life as usual.

Holidays

2007/2008 was the first Holiday Season I have spent away (completely) from my family, and it was both an experience and a test.  Having initially planned with Beth to be home (in Ashland) this year, it was harder than I expected to miss out on our family's somewhat untraditional traditions (like Chinese food on Christmas Eve) but after talking endlessly with my English students about American traditions, I found myself more than anything missing hiking through the snow with dad to choose and cut our own tree, Midnight Mass at Trinity, Christmas Eve at the Monks', mistletoe, decorating our tree with ornaments and memories, gift exchange with the Phelps', whiskey in eggnog with Gary by the fire, presents from the dog addressed in moms handwriting, getting dressed up for new years...

Thanksgiving being one of my favorites, we celebrated with a short trip to Sevilla to visit Aimee and Jose Luis, to drop off some cranberry sauce my wonderful friend Brad had brought over, and to get just a little family lovin' in.

Thanksgiving dinner was postponed in Cádiz until early December, when I finally found my own place and had bought a nice little oven (thank you Macro, aka Spanish COSTCO). 

 I went all out:  bird, stuffing, sweet potato 

casserole, mashed potatoes, gravy and even a couple apple pies.  My lovely friend Juan provided a mini-keg of Heineken.

  Who knew you could roast a full-sized turkey in a countertop horno??  Spanish mom's were duly impressed.  And thanks to gorgeous Cádiz weather, we ate in the sunshine on my azotea.

After setting up the elaborate hand-painted Nativity Scenes and Christmas trees and numerous MARATHON (this is not the slightest joke or exaggeration) family trips to the new shopping center in Jerez, IKEA in Sevilla, and to buy the necessary and traditional holiday treats and see the Belen Viviente (live Nativity Scene, half the city decorates and dresses up, really amazing) in Medina, it was finally Christmas. 

Since half of Alvaro's family is named Natividad (mom, big sis and niece), it is also their Santo, which means a double whammy of gifts and celebration.  Nochebuena (Christmas Eve) dinner is a family affair before going out with friends, and there's an even bigger family lunch on Christmas Day. 

(the fam on new years)

Next up was Nochevieja (New Years Eve) and another huge dinner, wearing red underwear, eating the 12 grapes as the bells toll midnight, and burning our wishes for the coming year (after they had been kept in our left shoe and safely hopped on at 12).

Here's a picture of typical holiday fare: pavo (turkey), gambas, gambas, gambas (shrimp), jamon y queso, langostinas, smoked salmon, pate, pescado, empanadas, patatas, huevos.... oh, and the tv on in the background, as always.

And of course, in Spain the holidays don't end until el Dia de Los Reyes on Jan. 6th, so there is much more shopping madness, parades, and gift giving before you are done.

I had a couple breakdowns and some periods of loneliness and of really missing being with my own family and wonderful friends, but I very much enjoyed experiencing new traditions, including some I hope to incorporate into my own future celebrations of the holidays.  

In hindsight it is hard to articulate how I felt at the time, and although I wasn't in contact with you all as I should have been, I hope you know that you were all very much in my thoughts and in my heart during the holidays.

Back On the Face of the Earth

OK, I realize I should have done this, oh, about five months ago, but I am just finally at the point where I feel like I am really HERE again.  I've finally settled in and feel at home, and though I'm sorry to not have shared the process of getting here, I sure am glad I've arrived.  I think it has something to do with taking broken-heeled shoes and busted-zipper jeans to the zapatero to have them repaired.  Running such a typical errand, and joking with the clerk and the old lady next in line made Cádiz once again so much MY city.  

That, and I having realized how much I miss having my friends and family as a more involved part of my life makes me want even more to share my experiences with you!

So, please bear with me as I try to recap the last few months of my life for you...